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This morning...

...all quiet on the southern front. Not even a hint of contractions, and baby is relaxed.

I was wondering this morning if maybe I should have stayed at the hospital and let them start the induction, because I really don't know if anything is going to happen in 4 more days if I've been having contractions for 2 weeks now that have only pulled my cervix open 1cm. But then I thought - well, that's not the point. The point is that I won't have to look back and wonder if that's what I SHOULD have at least tried - no matter if my cervix doesn't budge between now and then.

So, for that minor victory at least, I feel a little less defeated.

Beyond that, I'm really trying to stay positive - I'm trying to tell myself that hey, at least my cervix IS at 1cm and a little soft, and 30% effaced - that's better than nothing. It's really hard though, because all I've ever read about is that most 1st time moms' cervixes dilate to 2-3cm a couple of weeks BEFORE their due date - which makes me feel like a failure.

But at least by going to the hospital last night I got this sweet elastic belly band that keeps me tucked in and feels sooooo good right now.

So - I'm going to go venture out into the rain and go to work for a bit (or at least make an appearance) and go shopping - and TRY to get on with a normal life to get my mind off everything baby.

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
aoi_usagi
May. 2nd, 2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
I think you're obsessing a teeny bit. I never knew how much my cervix was doing what until I was in the hospital having the kid. I'm really floored about the failure comment - I hope you're kidding. Everyone's different. What are you going to think if things in delivery don't go perfect? I'll tell you my story after you have your baby, because I have possibly the most horrible delivery story I've ever heard with both baby and mom surviving. But everything just melts away the second you set eyes on your baby. At least after what I went through I did have the mystical "bonding" experience everyone talks about.

It's hard not to think constantly about it but you'll be fine, the baby will be fine, and all this will just be a faint memory in a few days. Heh, you're making me feel majorly nostalgic. With all the crap we go through, I kind of feel sorry for men that they don't get to experience this.

LOL, stop thinking about your cervix!
theresamather
May. 2nd, 2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
You feel like a failure because your cervix hasn't dialated as much as the average?

It's hormones. Ya ain't failin' nuthin' :)
tigerpixieart
May. 2nd, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
((((((HUGS))))))) Don't ever think your a failure! Especially when it comes to something like this. You have no control over your cervix. Going by the "average" on all that stuff..... I would of been considered the biggest failure ever when I had my son ;D LOL!
raventhourne
May. 2nd, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
Screw what the books tell you and all of the studies. Its your body..its gonna do what it wants..and seriously...why so jazzed for an inducement? Let things happen naturally..heck, they probably got your due date wrong so don't worry so much! ***HUGS***
tanuki_lyn
May. 5th, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
Oh sheesh, I wasn't dilated a smidge when I went in, they said 1cm to make me feel better-it really just meant that if the nurse poked her finger really f'ing hard (OW OW OW OW) it kind of went through.
Don't woooooorrrrrry about it.
My ma says that doing a lot of work and moving around during your pregnancy will tighten things up a bit and it'll be harder to get going. On the upside, I think you're gonna bounce back like a champ once the little man is out:D
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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