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May 2nd, 2008

This morning...

...all quiet on the southern front. Not even a hint of contractions, and baby is relaxed.

I was wondering this morning if maybe I should have stayed at the hospital and let them start the induction, because I really don't know if anything is going to happen in 4 more days if I've been having contractions for 2 weeks now that have only pulled my cervix open 1cm. But then I thought - well, that's not the point. The point is that I won't have to look back and wonder if that's what I SHOULD have at least tried - no matter if my cervix doesn't budge between now and then.

So, for that minor victory at least, I feel a little less defeated.

Beyond that, I'm really trying to stay positive - I'm trying to tell myself that hey, at least my cervix IS at 1cm and a little soft, and 30% effaced - that's better than nothing. It's really hard though, because all I've ever read about is that most 1st time moms' cervixes dilate to 2-3cm a couple of weeks BEFORE their due date - which makes me feel like a failure.

But at least by going to the hospital last night I got this sweet elastic belly band that keeps me tucked in and feels sooooo good right now.

So - I'm going to go venture out into the rain and go to work for a bit (or at least make an appearance) and go shopping - and TRY to get on with a normal life to get my mind off everything baby.

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